Growing up, my mother was my Voltron- defender of my universe. She was the kind of parent who will immediately rush to the scene when you’re in trouble and drop everything and fight for you, leaving any questions for later.
For most of my life, and even into adulthood, I could legitimately tell people “I will call my mother for you” and very well mean it.
In sec sch, the senior boarding house master once threatened me in my mom’s presence and he earned an instant slap for his troubles.
I remember one day, almost a decade ago. I was in 200L and I was being harassed by policemen for jaywalking in a street I had no idea was robbed the previous day. I so hyped my mom and what she will do to the policemen 👮 on her arrival. She was that influential. The policemen became afraid and dusted me up from where they forced me to sit on the ground and asked if I needed a drink. My mum drove her SUV in some minutes later in a cloud of dust and everyone held their breaths.
She recognized the police officers and they settled the matter amicably. Later, she impressed on me the importance of reading the situation and knowing when to fight or hold my peace.
I later got to know that the policemen were of the Enerhen division (a most feared division in Warri due to their recklessness with lives) and they were attached to the patrol team for my estate (hence how my mom knew them).
My mom trained us well. Growing up, we were the most trained kids on the street and everyone used us as examples of model kids. But when it was time to beat you, nobody could save you. She was those moms that had no qualms coming to school to join your teachers in flogging you when you fell out of line.
My mom taught me a majority of what I know today. She was a handyman and could easily fix almost everything that got spoilt at home. I learnt it all from her and she in turn, from her dad. The fact I am a maker today and build things with code can be credited to her. I was an avid carpenter as a child and easily built moving airplanes ✈️ and cars 🚗 that drove with a remote.
My mom taught me how to drive and I still hear her in my head while driving – always maintain your lane, trafficate before taking a turn, use your side mirrors, etc. One day during our daily lessons, I drove us into a gutter and I refused to learn for years after that. She always let me know, how important it is to try again after failing. I tired again many years later and did better. We once got hit by a reckless truck driver and my mom and I immediately came out and made sure we collected money for repairs. My mom was impressed at how well I could assert my right. I had learnt well.
My mom was super educated. 2 Master degrees and a PHD. Dr Amaka was a doctor in another sense too. She had a vast knowledge of drugs. I and my siblings never visited a hospital growing up. My mom always knew the right medicine for every childhood illness. Every single one. No matter how sick I got while on my own later in life, when all orthodox medicine fails and nurses are left confused, my mom always knew the right thing I should take that will change everything.
Some years ago, while in the university, I had just started my entrepreneurial pursuits and had just built an Education software. My mom introduced me to her friends who owned schools and an Inspector of Education in Warri. A teenager then, I quickly learnt how to pitch to older folks. Only your mom can genuinely support your hustle. 100%.
Last October, I sent my mom on an all expenses paid trip to Dubai. Nwa mummy deserved to enjoy some fruits of her labor. I hadn’t seen her so happy in a long while. I was ecstatic. Seeing my mom happy was much more satisfying than if I had spent millions on myself. As someone who’s still building a life, I hardly spend anything on myself and haven’t bought clothes in years. My mom knew I could very well soon start wearing rags and bought so many clothes for me on that trip. It was a win win. They still constitute 50% of my wardrobe. I had planned more trips for this year and the years afterwards but that would never be.
Last December, after I bought a house, my mother and dad came visiting. She knelt at the gate and thanked God she could see such a good thing in her lifetime. She spent the next few days arranging the house and buying things only a woman would notice were lacking. From the sitting room to kitchen to the rooms, Seeing these things everyday and everywhere, always reminds me of her motherly touch and care. Things that would never again be.
On Sunday morning last week, my mom passed on. The pain hasn’t gone away. I don’t expect it ever will. I take solace in the life that was lived and the legacy that was left behind. I am my mom’s son. I am grateful she was my mum. The End.
Momento Mori
(Latin for: Remember that you must die)