“Say go hard or go home
Ah, my brother no padi for jungle oh
Nobody go help you if you struggle oh Ah, say, so many things that you don’t know
Ha, when e sup you go see them oh
When e finish, dem go say money miss road
When dem dey sleep, me I no dey sleep, I dey shishe oh
Mo tepa mose ki n le gbope oh
Lo wa update lo ko to we ose oh, ah Kabiesi, na Your doings make me dey shope oh
Pe mo gbope na oore ofe o
E wo aye mi lode, yeah yeah yeah
I will never lose guard oh
Never snooze, I will never lose
Shey you will snooze?
I will never lose guard oh
Never snooze, I will never lose”
– 10 Bottles by Zlatan
Life is a very impactful journey and classroom. To get to the next stage, you must pass your current stage with satisfactory grades. Since 2019, I’ve been passing through a lot of stages on what it means to have more resources than most around you. Like every up and comer, I used to vilify wealthy people – for how they treated others, for how they treated their family, their relationships et al. However, today, I’ve suddenly gotten to the stage where I don’t wish for most family members or friends to attend my burial when the grim reaper knocks. It’s a deep stage to get to and probably, over time, I’ll outgrow this stage but for now, let me regal you with how I got here and what I’ve discovered.
I’ve watched multiple extended family members rise to the pinnacle of their careers and politics. I’ve watched their houses become Mecca for all sorts of people seeking one favor or another. And I’ve also watched when they fell from grace or were retired. And I’ve observed keenly, the steep contrast. This taught me a strong lesson – not to get too attached to praise and not to get too cowered by criticism. But over time, I’ve mastered the former and avoided the later. One might think watching fortunes be made and lost will imbibe me with all I need to avoid same mistakes. It didn’t.
Over the years, I’ve made the same mistakes my predecessors made, decided to ignore my feelings and try to do my best for people around me even though I sincerely doubted their intentions or ability to do similar for me if I was ever in dire straits and they had the ability. I ignored this bugging doubt and decided to be a good person nonetheless. Recently, I’ve faced some debilitating challenges. One that would make most men refuse to get up from their mattresses in the morning. And indeed, I’ve felt those feelings but I’ve persevered. The most interesting discovery during this phase was discovering that my gut feeling all those years ago were right.
Now I understand people who do not share their good graces with others. Why go several miles for others who are unwilling to go an inch for you? Whether you eat alone or don’t, you will still die alone. Thus, For now, I’ve learnt it makes little sense to share your benefits derived out of your pain and tears with others or show great unmerited kindness because if the evil days come for you, there’s a 100% chance you will still go it alone.
Again.